drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
pop tarts are not kleenex
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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