My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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