Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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