It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
