porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
