TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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