there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
