That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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