I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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