it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
