just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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