she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
