having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
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