Three words: puerto rican gang bang
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
