I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
only you would photoshop your dick
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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