That's intense
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Randomize
