You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Randomize
