piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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