he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
