omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
