what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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