I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
