I faked an abortion last night.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
