So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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