It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
