the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
