Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
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