How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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