Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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