No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
