love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
