A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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