So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
