Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Randomize
