Your face is a jimmy john
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
