to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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