I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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