My cat gives me a boner
He kissed a someone with a penis
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
