Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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