Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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