allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
