Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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