I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
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