would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
