You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
