There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Randomize
