she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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