6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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