After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
