Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
