Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
farters have to be the big spoon...
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
