I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
