YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
